The Amazing thing

This weekend God revealed the "Amazing" that He has for me. In an Amazing way (which is totally like Him) When I went down to IHOP last August, I loved being there and I remember telling someone that I could live there. They in turn said "Laura, you could live anywhere, that is why you are a missionary". So anyhow, while I was there, I stayed with my old bible college roommate (Dawn) who lives less than 6 miles from the IHOP base.
So maybe a month ago Dawn called me and told me that the house right next to hers went up for sale. I remember the house because when I would drive back to Dawn's from IHOP, I would begin to turn into that house each time, then remember hers was the next house. Well, I talked to the people who were selling it and asked the price, and it was VERY affordable. I have never owned a house, and I began to ask God what He was up to. Well, I began to know that He wanted me to move there. A lot of things began to happen that just made sense that God was orchestrating it all. A few obstacles though. My son who is 16, DID NOT want to leave here. He was adamant about that. He didn't even want to come down there with me when I decided that I should at least look inside the house. (Mostly to appease my family and friends who told me I couldn't buy a house I have never been inside of). Well 2 days before I was supposed to leave my son told me he wanted to come with. I was very happy, but told God if He wanted this to happen He would have to work on Jubal, because I could not leave him in Minnesota. So we got there after dark and we walked around the house and I loved it. I finally got the courage to ask Jubal what he thought and he was crying. He said he loved it too, but he didn't want to leave Minnesota.
Well, that night I was talking to Dawn and kind of looking at her house and noticing things I didn't really want my house to have. So I told God that night, "God you know I can live anywhere and I am not picky, but I really would like it if the bathroom could have a closet to put towels in, and the washer and dryer could be inside the house (Dawn's are in her garage) and a garage door opener would be really nice too". Well, the next morning when I got up, the guys who own the place were already there so I just walked over and asked if I could look inside. I walked through the house and guess what? There is a closet in the bathroom that happens to be huge, there are hook ups for a washer and dryer in the kitchen by the door that goes to the garage, and when I was talking to the guys I asked them how difficult it would be to put in a garage door opener. They both said "It already has one!" Thanks God, you are AWESOME! So I officially love the house and know God made it for me now. The hard part now. Jubal. Well he loves the house too and says yes to buying it. So I decide to check out the town so that we can see what all is around. We pass by a "Popeye's Chicken" and Jubal says, can we move tomorrow?
We love the town, and even found a Jamaican restaurant just a few miles away.
So when my job ends in May we will be preparing to move into the house in June. Now I know God well enough to know that he is going to provide me a job there and I know times are hard all over job wise, but I am not worried because I know God is doing all of this. So Dawn is talking to me and she said that the agency I am working for may have an office in Kansas City, so I should check that out. Well, guess what? They have 2 Offices!!! So I can just have a job lined up for when we move and I won't have to stress about all of that!! Wow. Amazing God.

ROAD TRIP!!

I LOVE road trips. They rock. I love to drive for hours and hours and see some of the different places in this HUGE country of ours. It is one of the freedoms that we have in the US that I REALLY appreciate. I am taking a road trip to Kansas City tomorrow with my son. It will be his first road trip in which he can legally drive. I am excited! I get to pass on the love of road trips that has been in our family for at least 4 generations. I think of my grandparents coming over to the USA from Europe and how exciting it must have been. An Adventure. I grew up travelling almost every weekend over the summer to different states in the Midwest to show our horses at different regional shows. I loved every minute of it. I remember hearing stories from my dad about how he traveled on the railroads when he was a young adult, seeing the country side. My mom as well, talking about the road trips she and her friends took out to Utah when they were in college. In the past 5 years my extended family has re-adopted the road trip idea, and we try every year to take a road trip somewhere and spend some family time together. Two of my brothers and their families as well as me and my 2 kids and my mom plan a trip, and we have so much fun. One year we went to South Dakota and saw the badlands, went through Needles Park, Mt. Rushmore etc. It was so awesome. This year because of schedules we were unable to do our road trip. Mom and I got the itch so we just took a day trip up to Brainerd with Jubal. It was great. One year Mom, the kids and I went up to the Upper Penninsula of Michigan. Mom had a horse show to judge so we dropped her off and proceeded to drive 600 miles around the UP and see the Soo Locks, Whitefish Point (where the Edmund Fitzgerald artifacts are) and also see several lighthouses along the way. That trip is in my top 3 list. It was a lot of driving but well worth it.
One of my favorite memories from my childhood is racing my horse bareback as fast as he could go (which once was clocked at 35mph) until the tears would come to my eyes from the wind. THAT was freedom. I get that same feeling driving a car on the freeway while seeing all of the world pass me by.

Illumination

Now I see some light at the end of the tunnel.
This I know: God brings us through some pretty tough things, but nothing is ever more than we can bear. HE promises that. His word says that he will never give you more than you can take, with His help of course. We often times think we cannot make it through something, when indeed we can.
I have found on this journey we call life, that sometimes we get into a place where it is so comfortable and nothing is really going wrong, but He wants us to move forward. We cannot move forward if we are too comfortable where we are. Sometimes he needs to make us miserable to get us to step away from something that is familiar and good, to step into something better. God has a plan and I need to pick up my tent stakes and move along with it or I will miss out on what He has for me.
Of this I am positive: His will is SO MUCH better than my will. I want what He has for me not what I think I want. I am excited to see what He has planned for me. I KNOW it will be amazing, because HE is amazing. I KNOW it will be good, because HE is good.
Set your seal of love upon my heart. For love is as strong as death.
We need to die to ourselves to realize the love He has for us.

Despair

How do you describe total despair? Let me give it a shot...

When all that you have, that means so much to you, has been stripped away from you by the very people that you opened yourself up to, because they were your friends.

How do you get up and walk away from something that has ripped the very life out of you?

Do you get mad at God?

No, you realize how poor, pitiful, wretched, and blind the human race is, and how heartbreaking it is for God, to see his kids treat each other this way. Especially when they claim to be His children.

I TOTALLY understand the Judas kiss.

WHY?
Why did it have to be a friend who chose to betray the Lord?
And why did he use a kiss to show them? That's not what a kiss is for.
Only a friend can betray a friend. A stranger has nothing to gain.
And only a friend comes close enough to ever cause so much pain.
And why did there have to be a thorny crown pressed upon his head?
It should have been a royal one, made of jewels and gold instead.
It had to be a crown of thorns because in this life that we live,
For all who would seek to love a thorn is all the world has to give.
And why did it have to be a heavy cross He was made to bear?
And why did they nail his feet and hands? His love would have held him there.
It was a cross, for on a cross a thief was suppose to pay.
And Jesus had come into the world to steal every heart away.
Yes, Jesus had come into the world to steal every heart away.
(Michael Card)

When it is all said and done, all you can do is take the hopelessness that tries to conquer your heart and say... I will still try again.
Otherwise YOU will become cold and hard, and then YOU will become poor, pitiful, wretched and blind.
I think emotional rape is more common than people know.